After years of working in health education and discovering that people would rather learn about sexual pleasure than how to properly use a condom, Luna Matatas has settled into the role of sex and pleasure educator, teaching people how to shamelessly embrace their bodies and their sexual desires.
At the core of her teachings is unlearning the shame associated with sex, and using cannabis can be a great way to help you get out of your head and into your body. With the mantra meditate, medicate, masturbate as her guiding force (and the slogan on her feminist merch), Luna has made it her mission to help her clients embrace their bodies and feel empowered by their pleasure.
I’m a sex and pleasure educator, which means that I have the joy of teaching people how to embrace their bodies and their sexual desires so that they can shamelessly communicate their needs and get more creative with their pleasure. My background is in health education and facilitation. I’ve worked locally for Toronto Public Health and also internationally in Kenya and in Southern African countries teaching HIV AIDS reduction and STI management. No matter where I was or what I was teaching, what everyone really wanted to know was how to have better sex. I could talk until I was blue in the face about condoms, and people would still say, “Yeah, but how do I, you know, get her wetter?” Or, “how do I give a better blowjob?” Pleasure is such an important part of consent, and emotionally and physically safe sex, but none of us get pleasure based sex-ed in high school. There’s also very little opportunity for sex education as adults, so most of us are learning from porn, which is great because it’s entertaining and can inspire erotic activity, but it lacks communication and sensuality. We miss out on learning how to relate to other people and dealing with questions like “What if I hate my body?” For the most part, what we’ve been taught about sex has not been positive, and it’s really hard to unlearn that. So many people are interested in sex education, but there are so many barriers to accessing it — including our own insecurities and feelings of shame.
I was very wrapped up in my body and my body shame, and cannabis allowed me to relax and quieted my mind so that I could focus more on sensation. ”
I teach group workshops as well as one-on-one online pleasure coaching, which helps people to dismantle the personal barriers they have that prevent them from getting the kind of pleasure they want. I always ask “Who are the virgins?” in my classes — the people who’ve never been to a workshop before. I’d say that in the last six months at least 70 or 80 percent of the people in attendance have never been to a workshop before. If you provide a safe space for people to unpack some of their desires, then there’s a real opportunity for education that not only includes STIs and consent, but also addresses how to get the best erotic experience in this moment in this body.
There’s so much judgment around the ways that we get to a place of being centered, or feeling calm, or feeling pleasure. Meditating, medicating, and masturbating are all different forms of pleasure, whether you combine them or use them on their own.
My relationship with pot began through a sexual lens. I used to only consume pot for masturbation or for sex with a partner. I was very wrapped up in my body and my body shame, and cannabis allowed me to relax and quieted my mind so that I could focus more on sensation. It’s really hard to get out of our heads, and it’s really hard to give ourselves permission to have pleasure and to feel good about this thing that gets us off or gets us going.
We need to recognize that shame is learned. It’s not innate, you know; it’s not something that is immovable. We learned to feel shameful of pleasure on top of a pure, non-judgmental, more curious approach to sex. If you’re risk aware and if what you’re doing is bringing mutual pleasure and is mutually consensual, then you can go about and do whatever you’d like. Part of that is also being able to find ways to de-stigmatize what kind of pleasure we’re allowed to have and when we’re allowed to have it and who says that it’s okay.
Be curious and try new things! Keeping an open mind can help us find what’s right for us and for our bodies, especially when it comes to pleasure — of any kind. When it comes to cannabis, trying new strains to find the one that’s right for you, learning how to dose correctly, smoking it (or eating! or vaping!) only when it serves you, and making sure that there is always consent if you’re using cannabis with a partner during sex are all ways that you can incorporate new forms of pleasure into your life.
Find your community, and connect with them. De-stigmatization can come from talking to other people about our experiences, or asking questions from folks in-the-know. You can connect with others through reading blogs, attending workshops, or sharing your experience with others one-on-one. You are not alone! There is a wider community supporting as you learn to give yourself permission to explore what feels good for you.